USPS: WE CARE

That was the headline of the letter plastered on the torn, beat-up-and-taped-back-together box that arrived in my mail this week. I'm not quite sure how they were able to damage it that way (and frankly, I don't want to know...it kinda scares me).

The letter states:
"We sincerely regret the damage to your mail during handling by the Postal Service. We hope this incident did not inconvenience you. We realize that your mail is important to you and that you have every right to expect it to be delivered in good condition."

Hmmm. Delivered ~and~ in good condition? I didn't know I had the right to expect that from the USPS. Plus I have a hard time believing they mean that "sincerely" thing.

The letter continues:
"Although every effort is made to prevent damage to the mail, occasionally this will occur because of the great volume handled and the rapid processing methods which must be employed to assure the most expeditious distribution possible."

Rapid processing methods? Most expeditious distribution possible? I guess it was sitting in Seattle that extra week or 10 days because someone was looking for the tape dispenser.

"We hope you understand. We assure you that we are constantly striving to improve our processing methods in order that even a rare occurrence may be eliminated. Please accept our apologies."

Wow, I don't even know what to say. It brings a tear to my eye to know how much a government agency cares about me! Maybe they should talk to the baggage handlers for the airlines. Now ~that~ would be something!