Top 10 things I learned about Alaska Airlines

1. If you're 5 years old and carrying a fish in a glass jar filled with water (and it's more than 3.4 ounces and not in a quart-size ziplock bag), they will let you and your fish on the plane.
2. If you just had back surgery and need to go back to the hospital for a pain killer shot because your departure flight was delayed, they will call the ambulance for you.
3. Taking a Leatherman from the airport is a ~very~ good thing but leaving a Leatherman at the airport is ~never~ a good thing.
4. If your flight was supposed to depart at 6 a.m. and you're still sitting there at 8 a.m. because of a weather delay, one of the airline people will make a donut run to the local grocery store and bring back donuts for everyone.
5. If you just had back surgery and your flight is on a weather delay, left the plane to go back to the hospital for a pain killer shot, and returned to the airport, you can still get back on the same plane (if it's still there because of a weather delay) without any hassle.
6. If you need to reschedule your flight for the next day for any reason (even if the reason is that it's sunny in Sitka), you are pretty much guaranteed that they will change your flight and not charge any fee to do so.
7. Beverage service is not offered on the 12-minute flight from Gustavus to Juneau. It's also not offered on the 27-minute flight from Sitka to Juneau.
8. If you're only flying in Alaska, you can check an extra bag over the allowance at no additional cost and you get an extra carry on (usually it's food and/or a sleeping bag because of weather delays).
9. If you're nice to the person checking boarding passes before security, you can see real-time photos of the airport where you are flying and she'll check for any other connecting flights on any of the other carriers.
10. If you want to purchase a flight leaving in 40 minutes because the small plane you were scheduled to fly on is on a weather hold but jets are still flying, you can buy a ticket at the regular price, get through security and still get on the plane.

Pepper spray is not adequate

Comment overheard in the Forest Service office.

"We don't recommend relying on bear spray or bear bells for protection. The only thing we sanction is a weapon and the weapon better be at least adequate."

I guess I'll have to get a gun?!? That's scarier than thinking of Doogman carrying an ax around!

Best police blotter of the week

At 8:50 p.m., a man was seen carrying an ax in the Indian River Subdivision. The man said he was using it for bear protection, and would leave it in the bushes when he was out of danger.

Pepper spray, law enforcement and more

Well, my grueling work schedule and hazardous work conditions continue. Turns out that this very experienced guy named Jim (super nice) was testing the safety on the pepper spray yesterday in preparation for a bear safety talk that evening. The canister was obviously defective because it released a little bit of spray and should not have. I would hate to experience any larger amount of spray. Jim's throat barely recovered enough to present his bear safety talk that night.

This is first-hand info because Jim gave me the scoop when I went out with him and Mike (Forest Service law enforcement) for a day-long search (under not-quite-radio silence) for outlaw cabins in the Tongass.

What a day, too. We landed the boat at many, many stops to get out and explore. Fortunately, it was also a good opportunity for bathroom breaks. This is no ordinary peeing-in-the-woods experience ... not when you are peeing in bear country and have seen recent tracks of a mother and cub!

I did see remains of an outlaw cabin and one scheduled for deconstruction. What a structure, too ... framed out windows and everything; very impressive. The deconstruction process entails going back out to the site, tearing down the cabin, hauling the shit to shore, lighting a fire and letting the tide wash away the ashes.

See my pictures ... remember, all you have to do is click "View Slideshow;" you don't need to sign in.

The hazards of working for the Forest Service

Just announced over the building intercom system (cough):

"There has been an accidental release of pepper spray on the second floor. If you can avoid the second floor, please do so."

I am starting to choke up (really).

Gotta go.

AWOL in Alaska

SITKA -- August 19, 2007

Local residents and SEAtrails board members were in a state of panic (well, maybe "concern" is more accurate) when SEAtrails VISTA volunteer Karen Smith could not be located this past weekend.

"I called her house and the guy who answered the phone said she moved out," said Davey Lubin, dad to Louie, the whale watching and hiking poodle extraordinaire. (The brilliant guy upstairs deduced this based on the lone piece of evidence that the Jeep was not in the driveway for a few days.) Davey, who spends a lot of time out on the water, really let his imagination get carried away. "I thought maybe she'd flipped out or something or run off with a bunch of Forest Service guys."

"I don't know what all the hooplah was about," responded a relaxed and unfazed Karen Smith. "I told my supervisor that I would be out playing all weekend. Everyone knows the boys upstairs never relay any message, whether it's in person or on the answering machine. All I did was go fishing."

You can see pictures of Smith's weekend whereabouts.

Top 10 things I've learned about Sitka

1. Never refer to the bears around Sitka as grizzlies. Although they are, you must call them "brown bears" or be deemed daft.
2. Be prepared to wait in line if you show up when the White Elephant opens (it's true; I have seen the line!). This second-hand store is THE place to shop in Sitka. Free books are outside the building on the left-hand side of the store; books you pay for are on the right.
3. For the absolute best wildlife viewing tour in town, go to Captain Davey of http://www.puffinsandwhales.com/ and let him know I sent ya. Or drop him a note and tell him how much you love his website and my blog!
4. There are two stoplights in town and one four-way stop sign. These markers are virtually always used for any sort of directions, so know their locations.
5. If you see people walking around singing, clapping their hands and otherwise carrying on, it isn't because they're crazy or just plain happy (although both might be true). Most likely, it's because if you make a lot of noise, the bears stay away.
6. The best days to get the local daily paper are Mondays (for the police blotter), Wednesdays (for the grocery store ads) and Friday (for the TV listings). Uncannily enough for you Smith Sentinel fans, it's called the Sitka Sentinel and eerily similar.
7. If a guy named Odin estimates a time for any sort of hike, double that amount and you might be close.
8. If you want to run into any of the guys from Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch, go down to the Pioneer Bar (locally known as the P-Bar) or hang out around Thomsen Harbor.
9. There really is a literal end of the road; one end is 7 miles northwest of town and the other is 7 miles southeast of town.
10. For the best milkshakes in town, go to Lane 7. A milkshake at this joint is what saved Tess' life (see You know it's a small town when...). If you want the best meal in town, go to Ludwig's — but make a reservation. This place is tiny and might seat 12 if you suck it in.